Thursday, April 4, 2013

Why Marriage?

People often look at me sideways when I tell them that I am married.  Maybe it's because I am 24, and made the commitment when I was 23.  That is a young age in America by today's standards, I suppose.

I'm usually prompted with questions that revolve around, "Why?"

I'll tell you why:

Marriage is a commitment to another human being that you find value in, respect for, love with, and loss without. I call this the "vital mixture for success". If one of these components are missing, I believe you are destined for failure.  Some people insinuated that I rushed into marriage, and maybe I did.  But I realized that together we had this vital mixture, and I wasn't going to let it go to waste.

I found a woman who doesn't care about the amount of dollars in my pocket or the car that I drive.  She is uninterested in the petty things in life, and wants nothing more than to support me in all of my future endeavors, while starting a family with me as well.  She puts up with my awful music, my hectic schedule, and will even spend her weekend sitting for hours while I prepare to compete in BJJ matches.  She helps me when she sees that I need it, gives me advice when I ask for it, and space when it's necessary.

How did I get so damn lucky?

Of course it's not all cake and rainbows all the time.  A marriage is just like any other relationship in that it requires work.  Work you must be willing to put in.  Effort, compromise and reason.  Sure, there are times that she wants to punch me in the face, and times when I want to do nothing less in return.  But if arguing about who's doing the dishes or laundry more often is our biggest problem, I'll take it.

People often see marriage as undesirable, boring and a headache, especially in this degraded society that we live in today.  Sure, if you marry the wrong person, you may wind up feeling these things, or experiencing these issues.  The wrong person is someone who does not complete the "vital mixture for success" with you, and you should pay close attention to this before you say, "I DO!"

I, on the other hand, have benefited tremendously from being married to the RIGHT person in just a short amount of time.  I no longer feel the need to try and impress people, act as someone that I am not, waste money going out and socializing with potential mates, and wasting time and effort in relationships with the crazies out there.  Living vicariously through some of my friends, I have realized that a lot of people are CRAZY, and can without a doubt ruin your life if you let them.

I can now be the eccentric, fun-loving, unembarrassed individual that I was born to be, because I have been liberated by the bond that I share with my wife.

Bottom line is: If you have somebody in your life that you create the "vital mixture for success" with, then don't let it pass you by.  SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT!  They will not wait around forever while you try to "find" yourself.  Do not be afraid of commitment, in love or in life.  

And if you find yourself dealing with a crazy, please, RUN LIKE HELL!

+Wesley Claytor

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